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” I continued to stroke her hair and gently massage the back of her neck until she finally began to relax the tension in her shoulders and catch her breath. When her eyes seemed to lose their glazed quality and she was able to give me a hint of a smile, I said, “I know this was a lot for you to handle all at once like that. Are you still feeling overwhelmed?”She looked inward for a moment, assessing herself and her reactions, then replied, her voice tentative, “N-no, I’m… I’m all right, I think. Whew.” This time her smile was genuine, though still vulnerable, as she looked up at me.“And does this all feel… right to you?” I continued stroking her hair. “I don’t want to continue if this isn’t a direction you want to go in.” I looked deeply, searchingly, into her eyes and waited for her answer.She returned my gaze for as long as she could, then looked down for a long moment before slowly turning her face back up to mine. Her confusion was evident in her expression as she. Every day forthe past few years I've thought about going somewhere else afterschool. What would it really hurt if I went to one of my friend's homesinstead of going home? That's a silly question. I know who it wouldhurt.Just as with everyday when I get home my mother's nowhere to be seen,but of course I know she's here. She just prefers not to see me, thereal me that is. I wish she could understand how that makes me feel.Can you imagine what it's like knowing that your own mother resentsyou? I've considered talking with her about it, but my mom's notexactly right in the head these days. However she's still set out myafter school clothes on my bed for me to change into. Funny how shestill doesn't trust me to dress myself.First I strip off my uniform, a task I somewhat enjoy since it itcheslike hell. Why any school would assign such uncomfortable clothes toits students is beyond me. Now with that off I take off the rest of myclothes including my socks and boxers. For at least a few.
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